![]() That’s a little long, don’t you think? For a group of people that were never enslaved how did they get all of June the black people were actually enslaved, they get February. He goes, gay pride month and I was just like, oooh! You know when you’re just stuck in the matrix and you just can’t - everything’s pressed up, you can’t see anything somebody gives you that nugget of information that pulls it back why’s it so crowded? It’s gay pride month oh tank tops! Zero percent body fat! Two guys kissing rainbow flags! Aah! I didn’t know that that’s what I learned. And I’m like, what’s that? You know I’m 52, never heard of it, right? Didn’t have that when I was a kid. What’s going on? People not using safe sex, making all these babies, you know, so I finally walked up to this New York door guy, what’s going on what’s with all these people he’s like, oh, no, don’t worry, it’s June. And I haven’t been here in like 13 years I immediately noticed how extra crowded the city was I was getting claustrophobic. Had a great time with Judd Apatow, Pete Davidson, and all the guys… …yeah, had a great time. So, I haven’t been in New York for about a year, you know I was here last year, shooting a movie. Yeah, that’s what you did! That’s what you did! So why don’t you shut up, sit down next to me, and take your talking-to You rolled around in the blood money, and occasionally when you wanted to sneak off and hook up with a black dude, if you got caught, you said it wasn’t consensual. The nerve– where’s the camera?– the NERVE of you white women I don’t want to speak ill of my bitches here, okay I know let’s go back in history here, okay you guys stood by us toxic white males through centuries of our crimes against humanity. I’m hurt with my SUV and heated seats you have no idea what it’s like to be me! Trashing white guys. I don’t know how they did it! I’ve never heard so much complaining in my life from white women. Then somehow, white women swung their Gucci-booted feet over the fence of oppression and stuck themselves at the front of the line. Finally making that happen it was about that, for about eight seconds. Just to refresh your memory, the woke movement was supposed to be about people of color. The way white women somehow hijacked the woke movement generals around the world should be analyzing this. Amazing your accomplishments over the last few years. Plowing ahead, let’s talk - let’s talk white women here, shall we let’s talk white women amazing. Anyway, I don’t know I know, I get - my grandparents are older, I don’t know. Yeah, don’t bring up race or religion with your grandparents. You never talked to your grandparents and brought up the wrong subject? All of a sudden they went off the rails? Like oh, god keep making the cookies. They’re like did you hear what he said in that interview in “Playboy” in 1970? Can you believe that it’s like, yeah. I don’t know I’ll probably get canceled for doing that, you know, how stupid that is canceled thing they’re literally running out of people to cancel. It had to happen that’s what happens when you stick an M&M’s store in Times Square, all right? The universe has to balance itself, get the peep shows back in times square, old people can walk safely 40 blocks away. Stops you from reproducing, it’s literally a dream come true.Īnd speaking of dreams come true - did you see Rick Moranis got sucker punched on the upper west side? New York is back, baby! New York is back, yes! We lost our x-factor for a minute, city started looking like a giant bed, bath & beyond then bam Ricky took one in the chops. It’s a dream come true if you’re that dumb and you want to kill your own family members, by all means, do it. You know, take out your weak cousin with the asthma, I don’t care, it’s your decision, there’s too many people. You’re listening to the eggheads, the people we all cheated off of in high school, right? Keep listening to them and then if you don’t wear a mask, that doesn’t bug me either, right? Take out your grand parents. You got to look like surgeons with your masks on, makes me feel comfortable that you’re wearing masks I like people who wear masks that’s good. ![]() ![]() So thank you so much for coming out… …coming out during these difficult times. I am so - I am so excited to be here I have been doing standup forever, and this has always been a lifelong dream of mine to come and host “Saturday Night Live.
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